Grumpy Bear: What worse fate for a sad sack than to live in the uber-joyful Kingdom of Caring? Well, I bet the constant knowledge that you’re a baby blue teddy bear with a heart plastered on your ass can’t make you feel any better.Īs if that weren’t bad enough, the other Care Bears, particularly Cheer Bear, have made it their goal to cheer up Grumpy, and if you’ve ever been grumpy yourself, you know that having stuffed animals sing for you in an attempt to raise your spirits is just going to turn you from a Grumpy Bear to a Murderous Bear. Wanna know 4, 3, 2, and 1? Well, you’ll have to click, won’tcha?Ĥ. If this clip from the Sally Messy Yuckayel show is to be believed, even other grouches hate Oscar because he once had his heart melted by an adowabul kitten. Then again, even having kindred spirits in the wonderful land of Sesame Street isn’t too much help for Oscar. After all, he’s not the only one of his kind like those poor saps below. Oscar can’t be too high on this list, however. To add insult to injury, the only way he can make enough money to scrape by is to teach dumb kids the letters of the alphabet. I’m fairly sure he became a grouch back in ‘Nam and at some point lived in a van down by the river. He lives in a trashcan, he has no legs, and his only friend is a worm. Even if he weren’t grouchy, “the Grouch” is still part of his name and his species. Here’s a tribute to those top five hapless souls who, though depressed, distraught, or just plain angry, are doomed to live in saccharine-filled worlds where cotton candy lines the streets and the power of friendship is always, always the answer.ĥ. None of them was the lone existentialist trapped in a children’s television program. Jean-Paul Sartre once said “Hell is other people,” but his characters were just stuck in a plain old room with some other folks and no exit.
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